Vasa and Ypres: A Mayfair Conundrum is a humourous fiction book, where British humour plays a big part.
Forever stylish Vanessa E. Vasa was honing her observation skills when she bumped into Lanky Ella Lanesbury. Or rather Ella bumped into her, twice. When Ella reveals a conundrum, Vanessa is enlisted to help with the aid of her stoic lady’s assistant, Mildred Ypres. Follow Vasa and Ypres as they humorously navigate London’s Mayfair in their first, but hopefully not last, adventure.
I received this book via J.B Chisholm in return for an honest review. I want to take this moment to thank the author once again to ask me for a review for this book. It’s been a great pleasure reading about Vasa and Ypres, and hopefully more adventures will follow.
A Mayfair Conundrum is a short novel about Vasa and Ypres and their little adventure after coming back from their getaway. In await for the plane’s landing, Vasa stumbles upon a very remarkable discovery. With utmost surprise she comes to the conclusion that her breasts are asymmetrical, and Ypres -her lady’s assistent- has to be notified of this epiphany at once.
“Well, Ypres, as you well know, it began when nature called, and I found it necessary to relieve myself. Naturally, I proceeded to the nearest ladies’ room, as I am not one of those inconsiderate individuals who wait until it is too late, and cause a splash simply to get attention onto themselves.
My mission safely, and I might add, securely accomplished, which is quite a feat in an airplane prone to outbursts of tubulence, I made my faithful observation. I washed my hands, as would any person who has not had the misfortune of being raised by forest animals, and looked in the mirror. I wanted to make sure I was my usual graceful self, and that my outfit was in order”.
Then, I paused to ensure gravitas, if that is the word, and shared my mirror related observation.
“I appear to have one breast larger than the other”.
When the plane lands, Vasa finds herself in a very hilarious situation as Ella -a childhood enemy turned friend- drops her suitcase on Vasa’s head before knocking her down with a make-up case. You see, Ella’s problem isn’t that she was Vasa’s enemy so many years ago but that she’s insanely clumsy, and due to her clumsiness, Vasa’s attacked by a suitcase again when a strange woman comes running at the two friends with heavy looking luggage. She strikes but hits the wrong person and thus Vasa is knocked down again and wakes up finding the nurse who bound her bumps before, nursing her back to health again.
And that is when Ella confronts Vasa with a problem of hers that she needs to deal with. As her friend, Ella wants Vasa to help her solve the problem but in order to talk about the problem as a whole, the women agree to meet someplace else that’s a little more refined and reclused than the entrance/exit hal of an airport. So instead Vasa tells Ella to meet her at a bookstore in the Churchill section.
It’s there where Ella reveals that her problem evolves around having to kiss a guy (with tongue) and having to be groped by him in exchange for shopping advice and carrying her bags whenever she goes on a shopping spree on Regent Street.
Appalled by this reveal, Vasa crowns herself conundrum consultant and swears Ella to help her in any way she can. That means the involvement of Ypres and her intelligent brain.
“You mean you are to be groped in a particular part location on Regent Street?”
“Not quite. It is not the geographical location of the grope that is in question.”
“Then where is it proposed to be?”
“South of the border. In the nether regions.”
“Aren’t those geographical, Ella?”
“You appear to be confused. Perhaps I have not been clear”.
“No, you have been abundantly clear. In return for a gentleman friend’s second opinion, while on your Regent Street shopping expeditions, you are to be kissed, with tongue, in a Southern manner, and groped in the Netherlands. All this with shocking regularity.”
Without spoilering you any further, I can already tell you that this book is one of the most hilarious books I have ever read. It takes a lot from a book to have me crying tears of laughter but this one did the job in the first chapter. It didn’t take long for me to choke on my tears and laugh my lungs inside out.
This. Book. Is. Hilarious!
Eventhough it counts only 93 pages, the novel is definitely worth a try. It’s nicely written and its characters are so darn funny that you’ll come to love everyone.
I mean… Vasa as a character never gets boring. Her way of thinking and coming up with solutions will astonish you at every try. Her thought process kind of reminds me of the workings of some branche of autism. She takes everything so literal, and the things she doesn’t know for sure will sound so perfect in her mind.
It’s kind of refreshing to read from a perspective like that. I’m not saying she might actually have some kind of autism but it does resemble some of the symptoms.
Anyway, I enjoyed this book very much. It was a short read but I loved it.
I rate this book 4 stars out of 5. It’s easy to read, surprising at every plot twist and overall a great novel. I can’t wait to find out if there are more adventures to be told.
Until then, Vasa and Ypres 🙂